Throughout the whole first trimester, I felt intermittently queasy throughout each day. It was bothersome, and sometimes I’d have to delay eating until I felt better, but I never threw up or even felt like I was really going to. And the first trimester ended with me thinking maybe I’d gotten off easy, or maybe a lifetime of stomach issues had raised my tolerance.

Then, a half week into the second trimester I started vomiting. And now every second of every day is like balancing on a high wire – a high wire where if you lose your focus, you barf.

So here’s a list of things that make me want to hurl:

• The feeling of my own phlegm in my own throat.
• The sound – just the sound – of my dog vomiting.
• The memory of the sound of my dog vomiting.
• The stains on the carpet where dog vomit once was.
• The smell of everything, everywhere.
• The sight of a toilet.
• The sight of a dead bug on the floor.
• The thought of any bug anywhere.
• The feeling of a strong cough.
• The sight of anything that appears not to have been cleaned in a while (a.k.a. my whole house. Don’t ask me how I live, I don’t know).
• Attempting to swallow a pill.
• The anticipation of attempting to swallow a pill.
• The taste of my gummy prenatal vitamins.
• Sweeping up spilled goldfish crackers mixed with dog hairs from the floor.
• Fake blood on tv.
• Dirty dishes.
• Garbage bins.
• Pictures of wild mushrooms.
• Restaurant menus.

Check back for updates!